One of the hardest things in life is learning how to effectively move on. Move on from what, you ask? Anything…anything and everything.
Throughout your life, you will be forced into uncomfortable situations where you have to give up on people, places, and things. Whether that be an ex, a job, or a city filled with bad memories. Whatever the case, learning to let go and let God can be a hard skill to master. Let’s delve right in…
Moving on. Pushing Forward. Letting go.
Letting Go Of Grudges
I know first hand how hard it can be to let go of grudges and I still struggle with it. Men can literally get into a physical altercation and 5 minutes later shake hands and play basketball…butttt WOMEN??! Yeahhhh…nah son! We can hold onto grudges for days, weeks, months, years…I’m talking about you pissed me off in Jr. High but if I see you in the nursing room halls it’s on!
Sometimes it’s completely petty and other times you have every reason to dislike certain people. For instance, there have been women who have tried extremely hard to paint me as someone I’m not, due to their own jealousy and/or insecurities. && for whatever reason I gave them the power to…for lack of a better term -> PISS. ME. OFF! If I seen their name, I was agitated. If they commented on a friends post, I was agitated. If someone brought them up…you guessed it, agitated! But it finally got to a point where I was over it. I was over allowing someone else’s falsified view of who I was, to even slightly control my emotions. I didn’t want to feel annoyed or vengeful when I heard their names. I didn’t want to feel anything towards them and it took a loonnngggg while before I made it there. But let me tell you something…having the ability to NOT CARE may seem trivial but it feels amazing . Mainly, because that type of person gets off on knowing they get under your skin and the best way to nip that in the bud is by taking away their only ammo. Forgive them…for you…and let that grudge fall to the waist side. Allow them to put you down and/or attack your character because with every attack on yours, they reveal the flaws in their own. Real G’s move in silence and so should you.
Letting Go of Situationships
Easier said then done, right? Been there, done that. Wrote the blog on it.
Pretty sure leaving toxic people in the dust has been a reoccurring theme in my writing. Why? Because it is a struggle that most of us encounter, throughout our lives. But we all know letting go of someone who has been a major part of your life is never easy. Never. But there is a reason why you haven’t been able to find peace with them. BECAUSE IT IS NOT THERE. You’d have an easier time locating this guy in NYC on NYE!
Look, if you take away nothing else from this post, remember that you can’t force anything. You can’t make anyone love you the way you love them or the way you desire to be loved. I learned that the hard way. I was hard headed and poured all my energy for years into one guy who literally NEVER had the capability of giving me what I deserved. Y’all, I thought I was going to marry this boy (and I say boy because that is what you are when you play with the hearts of females for your own entertainment) But back in the day there was literally NOTHING you could say to me, to convince me that he wasn’t the one. HA! I literally chuckle out loud when I think about how sadly naïve I once was and the pointless heartache I put myself through.
Bottom line is you deserve to be first in someone’s life. Not second, not third, not a way to pass the time, or a person to fill the void. You deserve to be loved fully and without restraint and if they aren’t willing to do that for you then you need to do what?…MOVE ON! Just because you’ve told yourself it’s meant to be doesn’t mean that it is…and it also doesn’t mean that you’re going to spend your life unhappy, if you can’t have them. It just means that it’s not the right time…nor the right person. Value yourself enough to hold out for the real thing. Because as long as you decide to settle for less, that’s exactly what you will receive.
Letting Go of those Burdens
This is another thing that I have struggled with in the past. I have the tendency to carry burdens like no other…my own and others included. Imagine you have a friend that is always trying to help you…to save you from yourself…even if you don’t want to be saved…That’s me!
Here’s the thing…I may over step my bounds at times and speak on things that are probably best left unsaid but I am loyal to the core. If I am down for you…I’m down for you…and I don’t care if that makes me look like the bad guy to whomever…I got you, even when you don’t have yourself. BUT in the process I pick up burdens…a lot of them. I have been known to stress myself out over things that are 100% out of my control. It’s like if you see a baby duck about to walk off of a cliff…everyday. You are constantly running behind that duck, day in and day out, trying to save it from the reality that lies over the edge of that cliff…so you stress yourself daily trying to save that poor little ducky, from meeting its impending doom. But mannnnn…at some point you have to wake up and realize that that you aren’t responsible for anyone’s actions but your own. Love the duck, pray for the duck, and let the daggone thing two step off that cliff! For your own sanity…LET. IT. GO! Maybe the duck will surprise you and fly or maybe the very thing that you feared will happen…the point is this –> carrying those financial, emotional, physical, burdens aren’t benefitting you or your ducky. Real love and loyalty is characterized by your ability to be what that person needs…not what you FEEL like they need. At times the best way of helping someone is letting them fail. Continuously, saving them whether it be our kids, family members, or friends IS NOT doing anything but hindering their ability to grow. Drop those burden’s please and thank you…
Letting Go of the Past
Who hasn’t gotten hung up on their past, a time or two? Our past is the reason we are who we are but sometimes we hold onto things that can be detrimental, to our forward movement. Life changing events or the moment when it all went wrong…something that hurt us or something we thought was meant for us but didn’t end up working out, quite as we expected…all things of the past, that need to be left in the past. Why? Because it is not hurting anyone else but you. Holding onto things that are out of your control will cause you to live life in resentment. This section doesn’t have to be long or elaborated by a bunch of anecdotes and personal stories. The point is life isn’t meant to go exactly as planned…there is a higher power and His plan will trump yours every time. People will hurt you, plans will fail, and expectations will fall short…that doesn’t mean you cower down in self pity…pull yourself up and fight harder for what you want! But I guarantee it will take much longer to reach your goals if you’re carrying around the chains of your past or hiding those skeletons in your closet. Do yourself a favor…
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